Lies

My brand-new, top-of-the-line, waterproof, shatterproof, impossible-to-damage Olympus 850 camera got water in it and died Saturday.



I'm suing.

Summer Destination '09

I Want.

Waialua and Kaena Point

Avec l'Ocean, On Oublie sa Solitude

@ Island's End

Trail Blaze

Forgo the Parable

Rule of Thyrd

Soap is Cool















Note to self and reader: pink jelly sandals are NOT intended for Ka'ena Point.
Period...
















Neither are Converse, apparently.

Thy Will O Lord Be Done

I was the only non-pregnant, unmarried woman in the room. But I was in fact, a woman. That realization was one that had been baffling me for months. 21 years old...I guess chronology alone makes one a woman by default--regardless of maturity, preperation, or achievement. But I digress. Ah yes, preggies, crackers and cheese, Birth Plans and nipple chafing; that's what I was talking about.

My internship got off to a slow start the first week or so. But now that I was digging in and getting my hands dirty, I suspected that things would pick up rapidly. We'll see. If nothing I am more sure than ever that this: psychology, therapy, advising, teaching, social work: this is where I belong.

Sitting in Devotional earlier in the day I realized the great arrogance I had been nurturing for months. The speaker's topic stood out to me; the Sister addressed finding and heeding the Lord's will in our lives. I realized: who the hell am I for having thought I was above the spirit and the Atonement? And how the heck had I gotten to this point? I miss my testimony. I miss the direction it always gave me.

I have been drifting and lost for months and frankly, that scares the shit out of me.

Now that I am opening my eyes again, things that were once automatic processes now feel like I have to learn them again fresh. It's like the quitting smoking commercials where the woman cant seem to get dressed without a cigarette in her hand. I always knew. I always believed in the Lord--I was valiant about my faith even. But now, I feel the stain of transgression weighing on my most delicate and ancient nerves. Soiled.

When did I decide I could do it better than God? When did I begin mentally patting my more spiritual friends on the head in condescension. Am I so far out to sea even now, that I cannot even envy them anymore. I cannot remember how to want God.












I think that means I need God more than ever.

Data Entry

Brains never cease to facinate me. In a Fireside Sunday night, President T-money talked about how the human brain is like a blank computer at birth--only infinitely more complex. And that for the first eight years of life, humans input data that will in some way shape or form remain indise that brain for the rest of it's life.
Brains are what I do. As a psych major, I am beginning to accept that what I know about the brain is more than most people yet only a pittance of what there is to know about the organ. Even the brains of the simplest lizards defy my replicability.

Thanks, God. I'm really glad I have a brain.

im hosting!

i'm hosting a hose and tomato party on the 19th of janvier!!!!! if you have the below items, you are invited!!!!