A Letter I wrote Elder Michael Waite

This is Matt Bomer the heartthrob in a new series on USA called "White Collar". I'm in love.

Dear Elder Rub n’ Tug aka Mikey aka Ginge aka Madam O’s Sex Slave,
So…I graduated. And now I am back in Hell—I mean—Michigan living with Satan—I mean—my family. Jeff texted me the other day and said: “Remember when your crazy spring roommate told Mikey that he reminded her of her twelve year old brother and Mikey said: ‘That’s funny, because you remind me of my twelve year old brother!’” I hadn’t remembered, but what I did remember was you and Jeff water boarding me. I also remember the 5 food groups: Pop tarts, corn dogs, frozen waffles, cheese, and candy. I also remember you instigating the Housing Complaint then turning belly up in the “mediation”. “Michael! PUSSY!” (me pointing finger accusingly) “Uh, yeah! I was TERRIFIED!” Then going home and pooping on her picture. ß Passive Aggressive.
You will be pleased to know that this week is Halloween and I am going to be a peacock. A sexy peacock. So here are some things about Michigan that do not suck: no roaches. Mike and Ike. Target. Smoke Detectors. Black People. No one named Oleole. In news from Hawaii: Tommy Jordan is married, Alex is engaged, Brady is not, but still dating Holly, Briana and Lyndsi are graduating this semester, Marni is in Jerusalem, Andreas is still European, Meagan and Jordan are as beautiful as ever, and Brennon, Justin, and Terrence are all in Utah—weirdos.
I got a calling yesterday—shudder. CTR 10 Teacher. I think them Hellions is gonna spit and roast me. I have gotten steadily and progressively dumber since I graduated and can actually no longer speak verbally. I am told that the next thing to go will be my ability to control my bladder. Well its that time of year again, soon I will be listening to Christmas music and dreaming about the money I DON’T have.
So, how is your companion? I had a really hard time finding photos of myself with clothing on, I hope Elder Taint appreciates my efforts. I know you are doing your best to lead by example and keep him pure.
I’d like to leave you with some wise words from the great philosopher ABBAcus:

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay/ Ain't it sad/ And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me/ That's too bad/ In my dreams I have a plan If I got me a wealthy man/ I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball/ A man like that is hard to find but I can't get him off my mind/ Ain't it sad/ And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me/ That's too bad/ So I must leave, I'll have to go/ To Las Vegas or Monaco/ And win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same

Money, money, money/ Must be funny/ In the rich man's world/ Money, money, money/ Always sunny/ In the rich man's world/ Aha-ahaaa/ All the things I could do/ If I had a little money/ It's a rich man's world

ALOHA ALWAYS,

VADA

Pictured Rocks my Socks Bled

I wish I _________ (insert verb) more. I really need to. I need to write more. I need to exercise more. I need to study more. I need to try more. I need to pray more. I need to help more. I def need to blog/journal more. Savey?

Belated update from a couple months:
Thursday night I text Lindsey Vaillancourt. I was bored and looking to get into trouble. She via text she asked if I'd like to go camping in the UP the next morning. HELL YA! Next morning I squeeze in a four door with four Jenison kids and a small mountain range of camping gear. The drive up north was uneventful but beautiful. It was Skippy's first time crossing the Bridge. And then we went on a wild goose chase seeking the great and world famous Mystery Spot in St. Ignace. Don't worry--I'm not spilling any secrets. Then Lindsey wanted to see the albino deer at the Deer Ranch; it being her birthday, we all sat in the car while she paid 4.75 to go out back and feed a sleeve of Saltines to the "wild" beasts.


Back on the road again we are stuck behind a slow vehicle on the highway. We move start to pass them only to realize there is an oncoming car much closer then we realized. From Casey in the driver's seat we hear: "Don't worry guys, I got this!" Famous last words. It was a cop.

After almost colliding with the only cop in the UP. Getting pulled over by the only cop in the UP. Getting lectured by the only cop in the UP. And getting a ticket from the only cop in the UP. We continued our journey, slightly somber and at a decidedly slower speed.

It was dark by the time we got to our "camp area". The boys set up the tent while the girls and I scrounged for tinder, kindling, and firewood. We had to settle for sticks and dry leaves. Although, Lindsey did wrestle some stumps out of the ground like a bad ass.

Bad Ass is a good way to describe the entire weekend.

Aside from a few drunken rescues and scuffles, the night passed smoothly. The morning brought a glorious view of Lake Superior, crashing on a limestone shelf mere yards from our tent. That day we drove from our site in the small town of Christmas, with its 'Vixen's Inn' and 'Big Ass' Santa (Wooden Santa approx. 50 tall) through Munising with a quick stop into the Visitors Center to check the weather report. snow expected later.
In the end, we didn't get to the trail head until 1:30 pm. The Chapel Loop is 9.8 miles long, we started out Laughing. That's not the way the hike ended. Chapel Falls looked like a long water slide sliding down at an angle, looking like a child's dream in the middle of the forest.


It was at least 3 miles of wooded trail before we finally reached the coast of lake Superior. 2 words:
1. Gore
2. Juss.

I think I am in love with Earth. By the time we got to the second major shoreline landmark of the Chapel Loop Hike, Portal Point we realized it had taken us almost 5 hours to get less then half way, and it was already 5pm. Translation: Approx 3 hrs daylight left. Light that would go fast on the Eastern side of the hills and cliffs we were hiking.








From there on out, it was a mad dash to the trailend and our waiting car. I choose not to remember those next hours and when we got lost just as darkness fell only .5mi from the parking lot and how miserable that become.

I choose only to dwell on the magic and how boss I was for 3/4 of the hike, leading the way with my walking stick like Moses leading the Children of Isreal through the wilderness. That was until my feet started hurting, after that I was a pussy and held everyone else up.

To sum it up: Boss Planet. Boss Friends. Boss Weekend.