Tubing with Toolbags

http://www.sawmillmi.com/

I spent the weekend in a small town called Big Rapids an hour north of my city. I was tagging along with my best friend who was being taken by a guy she's kind of almost dating. We went tubing with a group of his friends on the Muskegon River and really had a nice time. The weather was hot, the sun was bright, the river refreshing. All in all we had a lot of fun. The problem was that the two guys we were with were ultimate A**holes.
     They felt the need to call my friend and I (girls they were supposedly trying to impress) "hooker" "ho" and even worse epithets as if they were our names. Dropping those words causally into conversations as if they are commonplace titular nouns.

Picture courtesy of the Grand Rapids Press

     Maybe it's my age, maybe it's the fact that I have now been in a relationship with a real man who knew how to treat women with affection, respect, and appropriate humor but I had less then no patience with the immaturity of our host and his friend. Our host, btw is no less then 30 years old. I believe there are solid reasons that a man is thirty, single, and still hangs out with college students. Later that night we were kicked out of a bar where my friend and I were sipping water because our host and his friend rang up a $91 tab between the two of them, became stupid drunk and tried to start a fist fight with another patron.
    The conclusion of the weekend is that I am wildly underwhelmed by the behavior, attitude and savoir faire of these two charmers. I ended my very mature relationship for what again?

Sometimes men are completely oblivious.

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The tubing was great! the Company "Sawmill Tube & Canoe livery" was laid back, the staff friendly. Basic black tubes $10, nicer green tubes with head rests and cupholders $15.  Visit http://www.sawmillmi.com/ for rates, dates, and information

Relationship Rant or Why people need to stop telling me it'll be ok

     We broke up. Words I have never had to say before. Because until a year and a half ago I had always been alone. Every prom, every Christmas, every Valentines, birthday, camping trip, formal dance, rainy day, sick day, snow day and Saturday. I had been alone. I am so bad at attracting people that last year I told my mom that I didnt think I'd ever get married and she actually agreed with me. Thats why when a year and a half ago when I met him on a spring break trip I took with some still college age girlfriends of mine the last thing I was expecting was that I'd meet someone.
      Four days after we got back from vacation it was St. Patricks day and he picked me up to go out to celebrate. He came to my front door. It was just the two of us. I had so never dated that in the car on the way to the piano bar I had to ask him "Wait, is this a date?"

     That St. Patty's Date was the beginning of the closest bond I have had with any human ever. My own mother knows less about me then he does. Although there were obstacles that I knew were there from the moment I met him he was impossible not to love. I truely believed that with enough love we'd be able to fiure it out. That's why people need to stop telling me it'll be ok. Stop telling me we just weren't right for each other. Don't tell me that someday I will find someone else and it will be wonderful and everything will be perfect.
     I KNOW we weren't right! I'm the one who realized it! But now I am expected, a few short weeks before my 25th birthday to start over again? I thought he was the man I would marry. I was so content and pitied my single friends who had to peacock and throw themselves on the meat market that is dating week after week. I was so grateful that that would never be me again, I was through parading myself around for the oh so public rejection of shallow tools and douche bags who couldn't pick a good woman out of a line up. Everyone knows all the good men are already taken.
    I have traveled, I have been independent. I've had my adventures. Frankly I am ready to be married and lay next to the one man I will sleep with for the rest of my life. To be back where I was when I was 16 is disheartening and embittering.

I am ANGRY.

I don't have the strength or the courage to start all over again. I never realized how lonely and sad my life was until I was no longer alone. I thanked God everyday for finally giving me someone to give my heart to. I truly felt magnified as a woman and a person being one half of a greater whole. I feel torn in two and I have no right to ever again be with the other half of myself that I am being robbed of.

I would equate this feeling to grief over a death. The death of every dream, ever plan I have made for over a year of my life. I miss him, But I know that I need to keep to myself and allow him to move on. That is the worst pain of all. Stopping myself from calling or driving over when the end to my suffering seems to near and easy. It's just not right.

That is my rant. Now I want to sleep.

Thrifty Treasures

    I am a long time second/third/even fourth han enthusiast. The more liitle old grannys who have worn, used, and discarded an item the more I covet it.
   I was introduced to the best consignment shop this week. Love's Treasures (Love Inc.) of Jenison, MI is run for charity as all the best thrift stores are. And while the "shoppe" in the front is nicely arranged and well stocked, it is the out back warehouse that has me raving.
   Due to changing situations in my own life I have been thinking more and more about the difficulty (read as price) of furnishing a home, be it mansion or studio apartment. Furnishing is something I've never had to do as all my apartments in college came already completely funished-bed and all. I can't even imagine the cost if I had to start from scratch at say Sears. It would take me three years to save for a bedroom set.
   Not so if you go the consignment route. sofas $50, matched wing chairs $40 each. Antique bed frames for only $30! I even found an old wood dresser/vanity combination complete with huge mirror on top for only $50.
   In the end I walked out with nothing more then a beautiful white mosquito net (normally $50+) and item I have been shopping for for years. But I know that once the time comes for me to begin filling my own nest, I will steer clear or pricy department stores and seek for treasures at second-hand shops.

Valentines: 52 Reasons to do this craft!

HOKAY, SO.......

I got all up in the face of Valentines Day this year. My enthusiasm reached Martha Stewartian proportions, and my ambitions knew no limits. Maybe it's because this is the first time in my life I've had a sweetheart to spoil, but I was totally feeling the Hallmark Spirit.

52 Valentine Pick-Up

  This is an Idea I got from the Wonderful World of Pinterest. The entire project cost me less then $1 (though I was fortunate enough to have almost every supply needed right at home already)
         Supplies:
              - 1 Deck of regular playing cards
              - 6 Sheets of Card Stock
              - Hand held, or 3 ring hole punch
              - 2 Large metal loose leaf book binding rings (or scraps of ribbon can be used to bind them)
              - Tacky Glue, stickers, glitter, etc.

Think up and typ out 52 things you love/appreciate about your special someone> It could be a grandparent, roommate, spouse etc.; in my case it was my boyfriend. These things can be funny or serious, I found my list to be a mix of funny, sexy, sincere, and a lot of inside jokes. After you've compiled your list, put each reason into boxes that are roughly 2"x3" using your favorite word processesing program (Microsoft Word, publisher...), I put a dashed border around mine, you can find templates for it online, but I preferred to design my own. Make a couple extra squares for the covers.

When satisified: print, cut squares apart, and glue one square on the face of each card. I used tacky glue and a q-tip, aside from being time consuming, it worked really well

 next is the hard part: using the hole punch punch 2 evenly spaced holes through the entire deck. make sure all the holes line up as close as possible. Finally decorate frugally with stickers, glitter, whatever, put in whatever order you prefer, slide rings through holes and VOILA present to the object of your affection!

The REAL gift is how wonderful you will feel making this craft. I found myself smiling and chuckling to myself while I thought up creative even naughty "reasons". I remembered so many little wonderful things about my boyfriend, things that I had forgotten we had done together, that he had done for me. It brought us closer together and he was really touched by the little details I notice and the time I spent telling him why he is wonderful. Its a hardy little scrap book of sorts, and I can see my adding another deck with 52 MORE reasons sometime in the near future, there is always his birthday...

Made: I Wanna be a Trucker

"Uh, yeah, that's a big 10-4 Pig-Pen,
Yeah, we definitely got us the front door good buddy,
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy..."

The day starts early in the life of a scrap hauler. Or so my one day "on the road" has qualified me to suppose. My first adventure in trying to discover the secret of the American soul is to try my hand at "Truckin". So at 5am this morning, I climbed into the passenger seat of a twenty year old Kenworth Semi cab and began my observation.

  But the most important moment of the day is when I asked THE QUESTION

You've all wondered. You've all speculated. as you watch a truck pass with what appears mere inches to spare. what if it hits? Will the bridge collapse? Will we all be crushed? But how many people who have never driven a truck have taken the time to ask: "What do you do when you are on the highway and come to an overpass that's too low? What happens?" As much as I want to share the answer with you it is one secret of the Trucking world I have sworn to keep. Perhaps someday you too will have the opportunity to ride in a semi. And maybe you too will learn the great secrets of the trucker.

Rocket Football Rocks?

    Continuing my search for the real American, I have begun attending the events of a pee-wee or "rocket" football team...sporadically. It was picture day the first time I shadowed Justin, an 11yr old kicker and wide receiver in a boys tackle football league run by the local school district.
    Pulling the van into the overflowing parking lot of a nearby park I brought my litany of questions: "What position do you play? Wide Receiver...is that the one who the quarterback passes the ball to?" Its picture day so all the young players are decked out in full pads and their red jeresyed best. Black leather gloves and the American Football classic: skin tight black knee-pants rounding out the look for that delicate balance between pansy-primo-ballerino and macho meat head.A look I hope to understand before the season is over.
    Sitting on the picnic bench doing my best to observe with out interfering with my environment--a feat all true Anthropologists do their best to achieve--I come to the conclusion that 11yr old boys are STILL as mean as they were when I was that age. A burgeoning suspicion that I in my tight gray skinny jeans, silk blouse, funky platinum streaks, and too trendy white fauz ray-bans was attracting too much attention and thus altering the dynamic among prepubescent players and fading-glory dads alike, I retreated to the distance of a park bench under the guise of practicing my guitar to continue my study as the boys began their self-directed and serious warm up. Never mind the fact that few of the boys actually succeeded in touching their toes and their stretching form was less then par. (a comical number of them wobbling and falling to the ground while attempting to stand one footed while stretching their right-quad) each boy tackled the task of warm ups with a surprising and admirable determination and focus. The general impression an untutored observer such as myself receives is: this is NOT a game.
    Impure athlete and female that I am however, I quickly became bored, sweaty in the surprisingly hot sun, uncomfortable with the stares and general impression that I just don't fit in; snuck up to the team photos snapped a few sneaky pics on both my own 35mm manual focus and the disposable point and shoot I had been sent with under orders to take pics so my mom could escape buying the professional copies, kissed my little brother on the forehead and left.
    Education conclusion: football, while fulfilling for some, is not my American Identity.

Tumblin' _._.._-_-..- .._-_.O.._..

4 months back from my grand Turkish adventure. And its back. I had hoped that I had developed an immunity, but the sleeplessness, discontent, overactive imagination, even heightened creative energy tell me its back. I have yet another dread case of that time tried and true foot itch. Wanderlust. Or as I privately nominated it last year: tumbleweed syndrome. Here I am at home with the family. I have a full-time job at which I am working 60+hr/wk. Am weeks away from buying a car (which constitutes a HUGE commitment for me) and all I can think about is packing a suitcase and starting all over. Again.

An increasing bitterness with Michigan and my apparent ineptitude to connect socially with the local populace is giving away to the frustrated claustrophobia that sent me into the arms of one of the most ancient and foreign civilizations in the world in February of '10. Lately I have been missing Turkey, Turkish food, and the language, however I am certain that I have zero interest in moving back. I need a NEW adventure. This time I am utterly stumped.

Twenty minutes ago I became so desperate for direction that I googled: "the next big adventure". These were the top 3 hits:

1. Portland, Oregon - some sporting goods store in Portland selling skis and mountain bikes
2. Scotland
3. Somaliland - a country that doesn't even officially exist

There are two decisions I have to make before I can even begin to tackle the life decisions this need affects: A. What do I want to do?
B. Where do I want to go?

The last move A. was easy. I wanted to be a nanny. Ok. Did that. But the truth is I don't want to BE a nanny for the next 7 years. I really need to begin doing something that will boost my CV and look impressive for future employers and Graduate Programs.

This time I am not even sure if I want to go international again or stay in the states. I dont even know how to begin answering these basics. I am utterly stumped and have been for...at least 6 months now.

Can anybody suggest/recommend some REALLY cool job/destination, with details? Appreciate it.

I am so lost -
Will I ever settle down?